Well, twice in two days – a novelty in itself. I don’t know about the weather elsewhere in the world but its still damn not here in Tokyo everyday. I am so looking forward to some respite. I said yesterday that I would eventually get around to writing about my trip to Taiwan but I have another incident of inconvenience to tell you about first. This one relates to cell phones, but I’m afraid it doesn’t beat the story of the contact lenses.

On Sunday I decided to buy a new cell phone. The store I always walk past had an offer and the phone I had been thinking of buying was only 1 yen (very very cheap) so I decided to sign up. I was just going to upgrade my existing phone so I could keep the same number etc etc although that phone wasn’t available to upgrade to. It strikes me as strange sometimes that customers that have been with a company for over a year, like me, seem to have less choice and less rights than a new customer.

Anyway, I decided to take the new contract and then had to think about canceling the existing one. Now, you would think that because I took a new contract with the same company, Vodafone, I would have been able to cancel my existing contract right there and then. Once again I have never been more wrong and even though I was talking to a man, I found myself imagining Pretty Fake Smile Girl and that deadly fake smile again coming back to haunt me.

I was told that because I had bought my previous cell phone in a different region of Japan I would have to contact the customer service center for that region or even go back to a Vodafone shop in that area to be able cancel it. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!! Again, I looked at him with incredularity and asked him whether I was actually living in a fully developed country and whether I was actually dealing with a very large multinational company here or a corner-shop newsagent who probably sell one cell phone per year! No offense to the newsagent but come on!!!

He replied that the computer systems were not linked together so it was impossible for him to cancel the contract then and there. I said OK and that I would call the customer service center the next day and sort it out and thanked him for his help – is that the right word? Also, as a sort of side issue, he informed me that the transfer of data from my old phone to my new one (address book etc) hadn’t worked properly as the phones were not made by the same company (which meant I had to spend about two hours that evening inputting email addresses into my new phone) to which I just nodded and said I understand!!! Another predictable hassle or so I thought!

Anyway, I called the customer service center from my NEW phone and asked if I could speak to someone regarding the cancellation of my current contract, as I didn’t really want to be paying for two. The operator said (in very good English) that I had come through to the Tokyo area customer service center and I would need to call the Tokai area service center (the area where I had bought my old phone from) to do anything and at that point I realized that even the customer service centers are in different places.

I asked him whether it would be possible for him to put me through to them but he said that was not possible! So next, he gave me a number to call them on, however it turned out that this was a toll-free number, which could only be used from landline telephones! I tried to explain that I wasn’t at home and I seldom use a landline telephone so did he have a number, which I could call from my cell phone.

Astonishingly, he said that he didn’t (at this point I wanted to smash the phone down into the table I was sitting at but as I had just bought it I thought that it wasn’t a good idea, so I asked him tongue in cheek whether in fact I was actually speaking to a representative of the company known as Vodafone – the same one that you see big red advertisements for all over Japan!), but if I dialed “157” from my old phone (the one which I had bought in the Tokai area) then I would go straight through to them and be able to sort out all my problems. I almost felt like asking him whether they also provided a contact lens service or whether a woman with a great fake smile also had a job there.

I then explained to him that I didn’t have my old cell phone with me at that time and he just went silent and started apologizing. When this happens, you know there is no other way and you just have to do what they say. So I thanked him after saying that I was surprised at the lack of communication between offices and that for a large company like Vodafone I was a little bit disappointed that I couldn’t have done something relatively simple right there and then.

So, the next day I called “157” from my old cell phone and asked if it was possible to cancel my contract. The operator sounded very surprised at my request, (almost as if I had asked her to sleep with me on a first date) and told me that first she would have to send me a cancellation form which I would then need to complete and send back to them and then they would be able to issue a final bill – I had kind of expected that to happen so I wasn’t so surprised and I had lost all energy to try and find an easier solution after all my recent adventures and exploits in the underworld of Japanese administration.

So as I write I am still waiting for the cancellation form. Again it’s kind of my fault for not checking about this before, but I guess I just assume that these kinds of things will not be a problem at the time. It is not a criticism of the system or of anyone in particular, (although the memory of Pretty Fake Smile Girl and faceless customer service operators do stick with me), but simple things do seem to be so difficult to do here in Japan sometimes. There also seems to be a lack of flexibility in the system, especially concerning things that you imagine would not be that difficult to make exception to.

One thing I will say in defence of the system is that everyone is so polite and they really do really try to help you although as much as possible although I think its usually to make you feel better about the things they can’t help you with. It makes a nice change from the normally rude and impatient English customer service operator who can’t wait to get you off the phone so she can bitch about you to the person sitting next to them.

But life goes on and I guess it’s fun in a way to keep finding out about this kind of things and it’s a good way to keep you on your toes. Kore kara mo gambari masu!!! (I`ll continue to try my best in the future!).

OK, that’s all the hassle out of the way for now. I will write again soon and maybe give you a perspective of the banking industry or something like that! Believe me I could write a book!

Take care and enjoy your day,

Kevin

Hello all my avid readers, long time no write. How is everyone? I hope all is well in the world at large and you are enjoying life!

One of these days I will get around to writing about my recent trip to Taiwan but today I wanted to write about a recent experience that I thought was a little odd.

Last week I went to buy another batch of contact lenses and upon entering the shop I was greeted with the usual chorus of `irasshaimase” (meaning `welcome to our shop` in English). It’s actually a very normal and polite way to greet customers but sometimes it gets a bit annoying because they seem to keep saying it you even if you have been in the shop for a while.

Anyway, after saying good afternoon myself, I said to the shop assistant (I’m going to refer to her as “Pretty Fake Smile Girl” from here on for reasons I explain later) that I would like to buy a further three-month supply of one-day contact lenses, presented my card to her, thought that it would be no problem and I would be out of there in less than 5 minutes and on my merry way.

I have never been more wrong!!! You see, the system works like this: the first time you visit the store (for me June 16^th) you need to have an eye test (3,000 yen – about 15 pounds) before you can buy any lenses – very reasonable and sensible, right, or so you would think? Then, if you visit the shop again within three months of the previous test you can buy further lenses without having a further eye test, and thus save 3,00 yen. Thus, in this way, (and you will realize why I say this if you read on!) I guess you could actually avoid another test for the rest of your life, or so the theory would seem to suggest.

However, the main problem was that I had gone there two days after the deadline (September 18^th) – I needed to have gone there on or before September 16^th – so it meant that I was unable to buy any lenses without another test. A little bit of a problem!

I mean I was 99% sure that nothing had really changed in my eyes (I have been wearing contacts for 12 years so I think I would maybe able to guess if there was a problem or if my power had changed) and I was adamant that I didn’t want to have to pay another 3,000 yen – a waste of time and money. From what Pretty Fake Smile Girl was saying you would have been inclined to think that the eye test was the most important, necessary and vital thing for the future well being of the world at large, as well as being somewhat important for my eyes!

From what she was saying, I decided to propose the following two scenarios to her, in a way to be awkward and partly to confuse her (she understood so obviously my Japanese was understandable):

(1) If I had come to the store on or before September 16^th, would it have been possible for me to buy, for example, a one-year supply of lenses without a further eye test for another year.

Answer: YES!!! (and she was pretty sure of the answer!)

(2) If I come to the store one just after the deadline (i.e. September 18^th – like I had done), would it be possible to buy, for example, just a one-month supply of lenses without taking another test?

Answer: Mmm, mmm, well, mmm, I’m not sure really, it’s difficult – basically in Japanese that kind of means: “DEFINITELY NOT!!!”

Can you spot the contradiction? If you can’t, read it again and again and again until it hits you in the head like a left hook from Mike Tyson. Or can you spot the fact that they just want your money!

So in theory, I could have avoided a test for up to 15 months if I had realized (or remembered) to go there within three months (my fault I guess) although because I missed the deadline by two days I couldn’t even buy a pair of lenses for the next day in theory! Now to me that seems strange and inconsistent with the “let’s save the eyes of the people of the world idea!

I looked at Pretty Fake Smile Girl (who really was smiling now – a sort of fake smile that you know they don’t really mean) with incredularity for a few moments before she said very sweetly in beautifully polite Japanese “no customer has ever asked me a question like that before”. I replied, “No, I don’t expect they would have!”

She then started to say that obviously it would have been better for me to have come before September 16^th to avoid paying the 3,000 yen – to which I felt like saying “Yeah, and it would have been even better if you had told me this piece of vital information the last time I had come here!” I’m still not sure whether she actually understood what I was saying or whether she just wanted to escape.

Anyway, as I was in desperate need of lenses and if I had gone to any other shop I would have been a first time visitor so I would have needed to pay so I took the test again and paid the necessary 3,000-yen. I tried to ask the opticians some difficult questions just to spite them, although my Japanese didn’t extend much beyond – “no problems then, are there?” The test took all of two minutes to complete to which I replied, “Wow, that was quick, are sure you wouldn’t like another look just to make sure. Maybe you can charge me another 3,000 yen.”

On returning to the reception to collect my order, Pretty Fake Smile Girl was waiting for me with another fake smile which I have to say I really hate, and I gave her a “well, I told you so” look to which she just smiled an even faker smile and asked me if I would be so kind as to pay 15,000 yen, 12,000 for the lenses, and 3,000 for the eye test. She even went through the items on the bill for a second time emphasizing that I had been charged the extra 3,000 for something we both know I didn’t really need.

I have to say I have not been as annoyed as I was that day for some time. Next time I will be sure to return there within the deadline next time for sure. Or maybe I will try to order them from the Internet, although maybe they will have designed some on-line eye test for me to take before then.

La la la!!! Life goes on I guess. Get over it! By the way, I turned 27 today – another year on the clock!

Take care, and I will write again soon,

Kevin